i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
