They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ttyl tear gas
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
