i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
