I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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