he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
