I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
