Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
