the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
