We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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