i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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