so explain again why im purple
no
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
