Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
