If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
