I am spending my child support on dildos
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize