First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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