the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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