I am spending my child support on dildos
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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