my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
