But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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