Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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