Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
