Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
