then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
