Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
