I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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