Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
sex in a hospital.. check
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
