What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
