She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
