I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
