Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
