And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
