I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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