i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
