so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
