I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
