Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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