Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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