i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
