I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
