it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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