the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
