Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
