i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
