Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
God, I missed his penis.
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