How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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