omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize