Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
