if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
