I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
