Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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