he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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