North Korea, Best Korea!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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