I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
