last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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