So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
