I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
