How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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