He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
