Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
