Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize