so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
