if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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