my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
