Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
